We are not alone. There are millions of us out there... moms and dads. Trying to balance everything - work, children, grocery shopping, bill paying, laundry, sex, scrubbing toilets, wiping poopy butts. I put this list in no particular order, but all of these things are on our mind at any given moment. Sometimes all at the same time. I say this with the intention to make you feel like you are not alone in your struggle.
I set my alarm to **attempt** to wake up before the children so I can get a work-out in and not have it affect all of my TO-DOs on my list that never actually gets done. What happened? I hit "dismiss". Because that's what I want to do sometimes - dismiss myself from my responsibilities.
My TO-DO list is always the same. Everyday. We call it Groundhog Day around here. It goes something like this:
Make breakfast. Clean up after breakfast. Get children dressed from clothes that are still stacked in the laundry basket because I haven't had the time or energy to walk them upstairs, sort and put away. Style their hair so they don't look like the rolled out of the gutter. Wipe syrup off forearms from waffle breakfast. Shit! I fed them waffles for the 4th day in a row. I really should make muffins - healthy ones - for them. Add that to the TO-DO list. Help kids brush teeth - sort of. Pack snacks for the gym. What about drinks? Where is that damn stopper for the sippy cup. We are almost out of goldfish. Write that down. Where's my grocery list? I know I started one here somewhere. Look in junk drawer for paper, find old picture of Olivia from when she was two. Compare her to her brother and sister. They don't look alike at all. Yes they do. No they don't. Where's that picture of me when I was two? Oh, wait... what time is it? Back to list. Put dishes in the dishwasher. OH DAMN! I ran the dishes last night so now I have to stack them in a sink full of soapy water that is going to stay there until 10pm tonight and I will just continually add hot water to the mess pretending that I will actually do something with them. Wipe counters. Watch half of the crumbs fall on the floor. Add sweep and mop to TO-DO list. Start dryer for the fifth time in 2 days. Forget about clothes in dryer and repeatedly run it throughout the day, anytime I pass through the laundry room to the garage. Make sure there are plenty of diapers and wipes in the bag because Eli always has a blowout 45 minutes into my workout. Do I need a change of clothes for him today? No. It hasn't been that bad lately. Where are his shoes? "Girls, get your shoes on!" Find workout clothes from yesterday. What did I do? Did I sweat too bad? Sniff clothes. Nope, they are still good. Get dressed for gym. Throw hair up in ponytail. Do I have time to brush teeth? Deodorant... where is my deodorant? Chase little boy through the bedroom as he is eating my deodorant. Oh, what is in that stuff? Well, that's why I bought Tom's. Its all-natural right? He won't die. He ate a cup full of dirt yesterday. "No, Maia. You don't need make-up today. Go find your shoes." Grab water bottle. Fill while listening to the moans and cries of girls fighting over shoes. Mind you they are 2 and 8, so we know whose shoes are whose. But Maia wins as she insists to wear her sisters flip-flops. Check to see if I have my workout list, gloves and phone. "KIDS!! TIME TO LOAD UP!!"
Drive to gym. Unload kids. Ignore looks from other gym-goers about how frantic I look, though my kids are polished. Sign kids into daycare. Add 5 minutes to sign-in time because I just might need it today. Head to sauna. Breathe. Breathe. Think about upcoming birthday party Olivia is going to. NO DAMNIT! This is my time. Breathe. Breathe. Think of motivating thoughts to fuel my workout. I am Lisa. This is my time. Head to weight room. Move some heavy weights. Drink lots of water. Check clock. Sweat. Ignore over-zealous 20-something "boys" trying to own the place. Ask them if they are done with that weight because you need it. Silently and internally mock them. Check clock. 40 minutes left. Get moving. Sweat more. Drink more water. Lie on floor after abs feeling like you have no energy and want to stay there for the next four hours. Check clock. Times up. Get kids. Load in van. Yep. I drive a minivan. Check rear view mirror 50 times on the way home to see if Eli will make it through lunch and take a loooong afternoon nap. Lunchtime!
Make protein shake. PB&J or mac&cheese or mini-pizzas for kids. "Everyone outside!" Clean up lunch. Put Eli down for a nap. Thank God that he is a good sleeper. Sweep floor, wipe counters, run hot water, leave dishes. Start dryer again on the way to the shower. -------ZEN-------- relax as hot water runs the salty sweat out of my pores. Notice water stains in bottom corner of shower. Add scrub shower to TO-DO list. Out of shower, throw on **new** workout clothes because who am I really getting dressed for. Pick up toys. Pick up more toys. Get side tracked by text messages. Check Facebook. Oh! I have stuff to do. Fold laundry. Leave in laundry baskets. Pick up toys. Vacuum downstairs. Get Eli up from nap. Put Maia in her room for quiet time. Make snack for Eli. Clean up snack from Eli. Wipe counters. Sweep floor. Turn on sprinkler. Take off clothes. Take adorable pictures of naked boy playing in the sprinkler in backyard. Clean up little boy poop in grass before dog eats it. Wipe boogers. Wake up Maia from nap. Divert complete meltdown with sprinkler fun and a Popsicle. Think about what to make for dinner.
Make amazingly delicious and well-balanced dinner that our chocolate lab enjoys since Olivia is the only one who wants to eat any of it. Fight with Maia about eating dinner. Lose battle. Get frustrated. Toss dinner to dog. Clean up dinner. Stack more dishes in the sink. Add hot water. Wipe counters. Look at floor. Notice how it doesn't even look like anyone cleaned it previously. Send kids outside to play - again. Yell at kids to not eat the dirt. Watch naked babies pee in the yard. Oh, and poop - again. Clean up kid poop again. Hose down patio. Sit down. Run to trampoline so Eli doesn't careen to his death. Divert to swings. Push kids on swings. Laugh. Laugh some more. Enjoy the pleasure the find in swinging. Remember this. Check watch. Bath time.
Throw girls in shower together. Remind Maia there is no hitting, not scratching, no biting and no kicking. Remind Olivia she is in charge. Run upstairs multiple times for same conversation. Put stinky boy in bath. Watch water turn to grey as his feet enter tub. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Remove his hands from around his junk. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Give up. Rinse, dry and slather with lotion. Pajamas, pacifier, snuggle and lay in bed. Breathe. Brush girls' hair. Put on lotion and pajamas. Read book to Maia. Get drink of water for Maia. Tickle Maia's back. Sing Maia a song. Snuggle Maia. Remind Maia that Bailey cannot sleep in her bed. Again. Again. Again. Good night. Give Olivia a good night hug and kiss. Thank her for her patience that day. Remind her what an incredible blessing and helper she is. Give her lots of kisses. Listen to her read. Start to fall asleep. Wake up. Say good night. Go downstairs and notice stack of dishes in the sink. Unload dishwasher. Load dishwasher. Set dishwasher to run. Climb into bed, already sore from that morning's workout. Lie head on pillow. Think about day. Forget what was on the TO-DO list because exhaustion has consumed body. Fall asleep with mouth wiiiiide open.
Wake up tomorrow. Repeat.
I write this very brief summary knowing that it resembles the same for many women (and men!) out there. Maybe your kids didn't poop on the patio today, but they did something that threw you off. Maybe they dumped the entire box of Cheerios all over the floor then proceeded to bathe in it while their older sister trampled it into a fine dust. Who knows? My point is, you... we... are not alone. Yet somehow in the midst of this cluster f!*#, we manage to make time for what we consciously or subconsciously find important. Those things we fill our time with, whether its intentional or not, are what we deem important. We have made them a priority in our own minds and thus in our day. There is evidence of that. But here's the big question: what are you making time for in your day? What have you deemed a priority and what can wait for "later". Sometimes is the dishes or laundry or toilets. But more often than not, it US that gets pushed back.
I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on your day, your week, and see where and how you spend most of your time. Do you get to sit and connect with your spouse? Do you have one-on-one time with your kids? Do you have a moment for YOU? If not, you know what to do. So go do it. Don't let Groundhog Day get the best of you.
Now, I have some dishes to tend to and laundry to fold.
I set my alarm to **attempt** to wake up before the children so I can get a work-out in and not have it affect all of my TO-DOs on my list that never actually gets done. What happened? I hit "dismiss". Because that's what I want to do sometimes - dismiss myself from my responsibilities.
My TO-DO list is always the same. Everyday. We call it Groundhog Day around here. It goes something like this:
Make breakfast. Clean up after breakfast. Get children dressed from clothes that are still stacked in the laundry basket because I haven't had the time or energy to walk them upstairs, sort and put away. Style their hair so they don't look like the rolled out of the gutter. Wipe syrup off forearms from waffle breakfast. Shit! I fed them waffles for the 4th day in a row. I really should make muffins - healthy ones - for them. Add that to the TO-DO list. Help kids brush teeth - sort of. Pack snacks for the gym. What about drinks? Where is that damn stopper for the sippy cup. We are almost out of goldfish. Write that down. Where's my grocery list? I know I started one here somewhere. Look in junk drawer for paper, find old picture of Olivia from when she was two. Compare her to her brother and sister. They don't look alike at all. Yes they do. No they don't. Where's that picture of me when I was two? Oh, wait... what time is it? Back to list. Put dishes in the dishwasher. OH DAMN! I ran the dishes last night so now I have to stack them in a sink full of soapy water that is going to stay there until 10pm tonight and I will just continually add hot water to the mess pretending that I will actually do something with them. Wipe counters. Watch half of the crumbs fall on the floor. Add sweep and mop to TO-DO list. Start dryer for the fifth time in 2 days. Forget about clothes in dryer and repeatedly run it throughout the day, anytime I pass through the laundry room to the garage. Make sure there are plenty of diapers and wipes in the bag because Eli always has a blowout 45 minutes into my workout. Do I need a change of clothes for him today? No. It hasn't been that bad lately. Where are his shoes? "Girls, get your shoes on!" Find workout clothes from yesterday. What did I do? Did I sweat too bad? Sniff clothes. Nope, they are still good. Get dressed for gym. Throw hair up in ponytail. Do I have time to brush teeth? Deodorant... where is my deodorant? Chase little boy through the bedroom as he is eating my deodorant. Oh, what is in that stuff? Well, that's why I bought Tom's. Its all-natural right? He won't die. He ate a cup full of dirt yesterday. "No, Maia. You don't need make-up today. Go find your shoes." Grab water bottle. Fill while listening to the moans and cries of girls fighting over shoes. Mind you they are 2 and 8, so we know whose shoes are whose. But Maia wins as she insists to wear her sisters flip-flops. Check to see if I have my workout list, gloves and phone. "KIDS!! TIME TO LOAD UP!!"
Drive to gym. Unload kids. Ignore looks from other gym-goers about how frantic I look, though my kids are polished. Sign kids into daycare. Add 5 minutes to sign-in time because I just might need it today. Head to sauna. Breathe. Breathe. Think about upcoming birthday party Olivia is going to. NO DAMNIT! This is my time. Breathe. Breathe. Think of motivating thoughts to fuel my workout. I am Lisa. This is my time. Head to weight room. Move some heavy weights. Drink lots of water. Check clock. Sweat. Ignore over-zealous 20-something "boys" trying to own the place. Ask them if they are done with that weight because you need it. Silently and internally mock them. Check clock. 40 minutes left. Get moving. Sweat more. Drink more water. Lie on floor after abs feeling like you have no energy and want to stay there for the next four hours. Check clock. Times up. Get kids. Load in van. Yep. I drive a minivan. Check rear view mirror 50 times on the way home to see if Eli will make it through lunch and take a loooong afternoon nap. Lunchtime!
Make protein shake. PB&J or mac&cheese or mini-pizzas for kids. "Everyone outside!" Clean up lunch. Put Eli down for a nap. Thank God that he is a good sleeper. Sweep floor, wipe counters, run hot water, leave dishes. Start dryer again on the way to the shower. -------ZEN-------- relax as hot water runs the salty sweat out of my pores. Notice water stains in bottom corner of shower. Add scrub shower to TO-DO list. Out of shower, throw on **new** workout clothes because who am I really getting dressed for. Pick up toys. Pick up more toys. Get side tracked by text messages. Check Facebook. Oh! I have stuff to do. Fold laundry. Leave in laundry baskets. Pick up toys. Vacuum downstairs. Get Eli up from nap. Put Maia in her room for quiet time. Make snack for Eli. Clean up snack from Eli. Wipe counters. Sweep floor. Turn on sprinkler. Take off clothes. Take adorable pictures of naked boy playing in the sprinkler in backyard. Clean up little boy poop in grass before dog eats it. Wipe boogers. Wake up Maia from nap. Divert complete meltdown with sprinkler fun and a Popsicle. Think about what to make for dinner.
Make amazingly delicious and well-balanced dinner that our chocolate lab enjoys since Olivia is the only one who wants to eat any of it. Fight with Maia about eating dinner. Lose battle. Get frustrated. Toss dinner to dog. Clean up dinner. Stack more dishes in the sink. Add hot water. Wipe counters. Look at floor. Notice how it doesn't even look like anyone cleaned it previously. Send kids outside to play - again. Yell at kids to not eat the dirt. Watch naked babies pee in the yard. Oh, and poop - again. Clean up kid poop again. Hose down patio. Sit down. Run to trampoline so Eli doesn't careen to his death. Divert to swings. Push kids on swings. Laugh. Laugh some more. Enjoy the pleasure the find in swinging. Remember this. Check watch. Bath time.
Throw girls in shower together. Remind Maia there is no hitting, not scratching, no biting and no kicking. Remind Olivia she is in charge. Run upstairs multiple times for same conversation. Put stinky boy in bath. Watch water turn to grey as his feet enter tub. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Remove his hands from around his junk. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Give up. Rinse, dry and slather with lotion. Pajamas, pacifier, snuggle and lay in bed. Breathe. Brush girls' hair. Put on lotion and pajamas. Read book to Maia. Get drink of water for Maia. Tickle Maia's back. Sing Maia a song. Snuggle Maia. Remind Maia that Bailey cannot sleep in her bed. Again. Again. Again. Good night. Give Olivia a good night hug and kiss. Thank her for her patience that day. Remind her what an incredible blessing and helper she is. Give her lots of kisses. Listen to her read. Start to fall asleep. Wake up. Say good night. Go downstairs and notice stack of dishes in the sink. Unload dishwasher. Load dishwasher. Set dishwasher to run. Climb into bed, already sore from that morning's workout. Lie head on pillow. Think about day. Forget what was on the TO-DO list because exhaustion has consumed body. Fall asleep with mouth wiiiiide open.
Wake up tomorrow. Repeat.
I write this very brief summary knowing that it resembles the same for many women (and men!) out there. Maybe your kids didn't poop on the patio today, but they did something that threw you off. Maybe they dumped the entire box of Cheerios all over the floor then proceeded to bathe in it while their older sister trampled it into a fine dust. Who knows? My point is, you... we... are not alone. Yet somehow in the midst of this cluster f!*#, we manage to make time for what we consciously or subconsciously find important. Those things we fill our time with, whether its intentional or not, are what we deem important. We have made them a priority in our own minds and thus in our day. There is evidence of that. But here's the big question: what are you making time for in your day? What have you deemed a priority and what can wait for "later". Sometimes is the dishes or laundry or toilets. But more often than not, it US that gets pushed back.
I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on your day, your week, and see where and how you spend most of your time. Do you get to sit and connect with your spouse? Do you have one-on-one time with your kids? Do you have a moment for YOU? If not, you know what to do. So go do it. Don't let Groundhog Day get the best of you.
Now, I have some dishes to tend to and laundry to fold.
Lisa, honestly you always seem to have the right message at the right time for me. You always seem so put together and I always feel like a train wreck that can't keep up with anything. It's substantially comforting to know you "run in the hampster wheel" too trying to juggle all of the demands of the day. Thank you for sharing, once again you've helped me to stay focused and reminded me to prioritize to the best of my ability and that its okay to let the little things go to the back burner. You rock sister!
ReplyDeleteYes, thanks Lisa. I really needed that today! I needed to be reminded that my life is not the only one like that and though its exhausting we do need to find that important time for ourselves and what we deem important. Getting up early tomorrow and getting the workout out of the way!! :)
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