YE will be tested

When you begin this journey toward a better self, no matter the motivation, goal, or plan you have in place, there will always, ALWAYS be things you don't plan for.  Things you don't foresee.  Challenges you must overcome.  It is in the face of these challenges our focus, our determination, or desire to be better is tested.  How bad do you want this?  How important is this to you?  How deep are you willing to dig to find the person inside you were CREATED to be?  The person who's destiny is the one you seek instead of the one you previously settled for.  You are pressed against a wall, backed into a corner, forced to deal with all things you formerly repressed, have to re-evaluate who YOU are, what YOU control and how YOU will react. 

There are ultimately two choices in every test:

1) Cower down and take the beating.  Pray that it isn't as bad as it shows itself to be.  Pray you can recover.  Hope it is over sooner than later. Then take your beaten down, broken self back to the recovery room, lick your wounds and let the victim become you.  Avoid looking in the mirror.  Avoid honest, heartfelt self-reflection.  Blame everyone and everything for what you have become.  Find excuses for the mediocrity you have accepted in yourself.  Be nothing more than...

OR

2) When backed into that corner, decide you are better than this small, confined space you have allowed yourself to be forced into.  Confront whatever is pushing you there.  Find your voice.  Find your power.  Ignite your flame and LIGHT IT UP.  Come out swinging with all the strength you can muster.  Know that the simple act of fighting back gives you control and you are no longer in the corner.  The forces that put you there are NOT stronger than you.  Your weakness is what allowed you to be pushed there and your inner strength is what will free you.  Know, with certainty, that your power is YOURS to be taken back or given away.  Take it back and use it. Use it to re-sculpt your mind, your body and your spirit to be one of greatness.

I am learning many lessons as I travel along my own path of self-edification.  I am learning first and foremost that nothing, aside from what I personally do, think, and say is about me.  Secondly, I need to stop judging others.  Period.  Third, I must not be ashamed of my destiny.  And number four (so far), is choose wisely.

1) This first lesson is typically initiated around the age of 8, when we begin to realize that even though we go to bed, the world does not stop moving.  Kids on the playground do not stop playing just because I fell and scraped my knee.  Hardly any will anyone notice if I just scored a basket, even though it is the highlight of my day.  Unfortunately, this lesson takes a lifetime to learn.  I am still in the elementary stages of this lesson, though I am hoping to keep progressing and eventually graduate.  It is not about ME.  The only thing that is about me:  ME.  And even then, its not really.  See the difficulty in this lesson?

2) The second lesson, again, is a lifetime in the making.  This lesson is much more difficult because it is a natural part of the human psyche to make judgements.  It, essentially, is related to our survivability (i.e., everyone is jumping off this cliff. I looks pretty high and I don't see anyone moving below.  Maybe I shouldn't jump off the cliff.)  When judging others, as opposed to situations, there are numerous other factors that are beyond our knowledge scope that must be considered before we can make an accurate judgement.  Because MOST of these factors will forever remain outside our knowledge scope (i.e. we are not God), it becomes very difficult for us to make accurate judgements of others.  **For the sake of {avoiding} debate, I will go ahead and point out the obvious that we have to judge others in order for survivability as well.  Meaning, I don't get into a car with strange men because I don't want be raped and cut up into pieces or made into a skin suit. Duh.  If this is your argument.  Ok.  You win.**  I am speaking from a relationship stand point.  I will not judge others for the sake of finding "wrongs".  Let's be real and honest.  If a person is looking for fault in others, it will forever be present.  We are, in fact, human.  Are we not? I would argue it takes a more heightened sense of self to accept the faults in others.   

3) I firmly believe in the reality of creation.  If you do not, well, I am sorry.  I will not debate this.  Please don't bother.  As I learn about the intricacies of the human body, I am slapped in the face repeatedly with how incredibly and perfectly designed we are.  From a physiological stand point, I cannot argue enough the amazing design of our physical systems and how they all align together.  To bring in the emotional and psychological aspects as well is overwhelming.  Knowing this, I have come to realize that there is incredible GREATNESS in each and every one of us.  A lifetime of choices chisels away at that potential and either reveals it in full beauty, partial beauty or become a distorted version, some closer to their potential than others.  In order to achieve this greatness, our mind, our heart and our body all have to be in alignment with its purpose.  This is what I am working toward.  I have found that my acceptance of this has ignited others to find their own.  They find inspiration to achieve the life, the destiny they were created for, just as I am constantly inspired by others who do the same.  Yet there will always be those who do not like this.  They do not want to be reminded of the "distorted version" they are half-heartedly chiseling away at.  They don't want any pony drawing to look prettier than theirs, to draw more attention, or to be more colorful.  They encourage us to contain our joy, our passion, our fire for the simple reason they don't want to feel bad for choosing easy. 

4) I am also realizing that life is full of choices.  We choose how intensely to seek our destiny.  The higher the level of intensity, the more difficult it can be.  Greatness is not easy.  It never will be. Easy is essentially the counterpoint of greatness.  Easy brings comfort, a lackadaisical approach, and no degree of difficulty.  However, it is in the struggle that greatness is allowed to show itself.  Just as diamonds are forged through great pressure, with time, so is the greatness of the human being - body, mind, and spirit.  We choose how to handle the pressure, whom to use for support, whom to rely on, and even whom to ignore.  The people we invite into our lives is also a choice.  This can be very difficult as well.  You see, each one of them serves a purpose and we don't always want to know it.  Some of their purposes we don't like because it makes us uncomfortable.  We have to examine who we are, what we are trying to accomplish, and how we want to execute it.  Our own faults are revealed and we are forced to settle for the acceptance of these faults or do the incredibly uncomfortable work of changing them.  We also choose when to let them go.  We have a choice in everything and everyone in our life.  We may not choose the external, but we absolutely choose the internal.  Something happens at work you don't like?  You choose how to react.  Someone says something you don't like.  You choose how to respond.  The mirror doesn't lie either and when we are real and honest with ourselves, we choose how to proceed.

Yesterday was a difficult day in our house and it simply felt like there was not enough.  Not enough time in the day, not enough patience, not enough food, not enough daylight, not enough energy, not enough... It was rough.  I knew today would be just as packed full of responsibilities, to dos, and expectations.  So I made a choice.  I chose to make MORE out of my day in order to create something better.  I was up at 4:10am to get a solid workout in.  My driveway was shoveled by 6:15, I was out the door with children to have a productive morning by 8:40.  I spent time with people who are important to me, got to have some one on one time with my daughter {who desperately needed it} and even made time for this - a blog post.  I write this not to bring focus to myself, because I am just like the millions of other moms out there who do this everyday and those millions probably do many of these things better than I.  My point is the choice.  I actively chose to be better today than yesterday.  You can to.  Whether that means you {finally!} get up early to workout, you take the time to pack your food for the day, you call a friend who has been on your heart, or you let go of self-imposed limitations.  No matter what, the choice is yours.  And sometimes it might take someone "calling you out" for you to realize that maybe, at some point, you made the wrong choice, but it can still turn into something great.  Use all of it, everything, to be better.  Use it to chisel away the GREATNESS inside just waiting to be revealed.

I am no where near any evidence of greatness, but knowing that I am pursuing it keeps me focused on what is important, where I am headed, and following a plan {HIS plan} to get there.  So here's to us: living a life far less comfortable but infinitely more rewarding.  Let's strap on our boxing gloves, take a deep breath, and charge out swingin'!